the gym

The gym is an evil place. It laughs at me. I can almost feel an ominous note in the air when i enter it. Course it could also be that im there all alone and the hardwood floors creak and the air conditioning whistles. None the less....
So i used the treadmill... i mean come on! how hard can this be! And really , im so not out of shape.i can totally handle this! The folks recently got a treadmill and they talked about it so much i figured geez i mean come on even my folks are walkin it!! and on an incline even...So i start...oh this is too slow i think, i mean my feet are moving faster and im actually hitting myself on the control thing up front! SO i speed up...haha i think to myself, who the hell uses this? i mean must be some seriously out of shape ppl to delude themelves into thinking this could actually help them lose weight or whatever. And then i see the incline button. Oh finally, something to tease my oh so toned self. Suffice it to say, i kept climbing , and climbing...AND climbing... i think i almost touched the roof... And im panting really and my heart sounds like its gonna plop out of my rib cage and lie there on the ground with its tiny veins spread out like outstretched hands.... and i see dots....shiny dots...And im STILL THINKING wow i can so do this. Finally at some insane time limit i have imposed on myself which has to end with a 0. I stop. Wheeze my way to some contraption near by i cant even remember what really and pass out....
I am so in shape.